Be Yourself; Everyone Is Already Taken

What I learned from Oscar Wilde

Every morning as I’m eating my breakfast I’ll read a news article. One morning a particular article caught my eye — “Marc Benioff Explains Why He Is Buying Time Magazine”.

The founder of Salesforce was going to buy a magazine company. Interesting.

I opened the article on my phone and out of the entire interview only one thing stood out to me; Benioff had cited a quote by Oscar Wilde.

The quote read, “I’ve decided I can only be myself. Everyone else is taken.”

I repeated that quote in my head for about a good five minutes.

It’s straightforward in meaning but much deeper in the way Wilde rationalizes why he can only be himself. It’s not that he willing chooses to be himself but that he is forced to because there is no one else left to be.

At one time or another, we have all wished we were someone else. Hell, we might be doing it right now (God I wish I could play basketball like Chris Paul).

We have all said to ourselves “I wish I was (fill in the blank)”.

But wishing we were someone else is distracting. It causes us to lose site of the valuable gifts and talents we already possess.

Importance of being yourself

There is only one unique you. No one else is quite like you.

We may have a twin sibling, “twin” friend or even a doppleganger but no one shares the same exact identity as you.

Our identity is what makes us different. It’s what makes us individuals. It’s what makes you…well you.

So why is this important?

Perfection. It makes no sense to exert unnecessary energy trying to be a 2.0 version of someone else when they only person we can perfect is ourselves.

Trying to be someone else is hopeless. Not to mention unattainable.

In a world where we much prefer to take the easier route it’s funny how we make leaps and bounds to be a double of someone else when a better version of ourselves is much easier.

If I could speak for everyone reading this, I think it’s fair to say we all want to be perfect. And practice makes perfect. Okay maybe not perfect but definitely better.

The only way we can be better is with practice. Like a musician who sharpens their craft with rehearsal we must sharpen ourselves with continual practice.

One day at a time we must continuously be improving ourselves. But we can only do that if we focus on enhancing ourselves not imitating other.

A basketball player wouldn’t practice tennis in hopes of perfecting his jump-shot. So why imitate someone we are not in hopes of creating a better us.

Embrace who you are

There is always something about ourselves we complain about.

I’m a skinny person and I complain about not being able to gain weight; a problem some people would kill to have. And at 5'10, I still wish I was taller. My emotional intelligence is probably higher than most but I still wish I was a brainiac.

Over the years I’ve learned to appreciate who I am and realized that there is nothing I can do about my physical characteristics or my intellectual ability.

We must come to grips with ourselves and acknowledge that this is simply the way things are. The only thing left to do is pick up the hand dealt to us and play the cards to the best of our ability.

Why?

Because each of us were given our hand for a reason.

The abilities you have are yours for a purpose; no one can do them quite like you. Your skills and talents are tailored for you so don’t be jealous of someone else’s gift.

Embrace what has been given to you. If your a geek, geek out. If you’re an athlete play your own game. If your a writer find your unique voice.

Don’t be a replica when you are exclusive.

There is something special about being one of a kind. It’s something we all aspire to be. Yet none of us realize that’s how we were already born.

Just be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.